It's almost certain that this configuration is inappropriate. You're unlikely to get a decently tuned cache for a database that size in 32-bit process space.
As for your "crashes," you're likely OOM running into the DN cache issues previously discussed
http://www.openldap.org/lists/openldap-software/200708/msg00106.html
and you may find help with a 64-bit platform, OpenLDAP 2.4, or some combination thereof.
--Quanah
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Quanah Gibson-Mount Principal Software Engineer Zimbra, Inc -------------------- Zimbra :: the leader in open source messaging and collaboration